I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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