A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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