my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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