yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
