I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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