you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
