he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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