she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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