i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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