i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
