I forgot how hot balto sounded
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
