My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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