You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
