Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
