Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
