I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
