I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
