Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
