i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
