k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
