Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Farmville is her only friend.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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