She is in my trunk
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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