So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
