the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The adults are the big ones right?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
