that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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