You can't special order awesome
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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