I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
