1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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