You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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