Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
