Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
