no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
