READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
