Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
