It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
