i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
