My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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