let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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