I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
