I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
