all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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