You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
