I wish life had little blips of pornography
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
His hands were made for my vagina.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
