It's just like the Real World with babies
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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