I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
