I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
