Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
