You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize