I CAN MOONWALK!
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Less talking, more tequila
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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