wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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