THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
