Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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